Single mom raising quads

Beth Goodman always wanted to have children. She never dreamed she would one day consider giving two of them up for adoption.

Goodman, 45, is now a Realtor in Yuma. A stack of aging newspaper articles in her closet — even the National Enquirer did a piece — tell the story of the controversial pregnancy that resulted in Goodman giving birth to quadruplets when she lived in Santa Barbara, Calif.

Even Oprah Winfrey called. During the talk-show host's at-home interview with Goodman, one of the babies peed on Oprah.

Most of the publicity, however, wasn't as lighthearted.

“It was like Octomom, only she hadn't come on the scene yet,” Goodman said. Her decision ignited a “what were you thinking?” reaction from many — even family. How was a single mom going to support and care for four babies at once?

Goodman's pursuit to have a child started out conventionally enough. Married and in her 20s, her efforts to conceive on her own ended in ectopic pregnancies. The couple tried in vitro three times without success.

Goodman later divorced and started a successful business. Still, “There was this piece that was missing,” she said.

At 38, time was running out. One more go, she thought. Maybe it will work.

That was in 2003. Goodman felt well-prepared to be a single mom. She ran a floral design business. She would work while pregnant and take time off during her slow season.

One baby, she thought. She could manage.

Her fertility specialist recommended implanting four eggs due to her past difficulties with in vitro. In her gut, Goodman thought three was enough, though this would significantly reduce her chances of conceiving.

In the end, she chose to use three eggs and an anonymous sperm donor. The procedure worked — on all of them.

Then, one of the eggs split.

Identical twins. Plus two more. Quadruplets.

In the beginning of her pregnancy, “selective reduction” was an option. The process can eliminate one or more of the embryos. But Goodman wouldn't risk losing all of them.

As she entered her fifth month, doctors ordered bed rest. Her career disrupted, Goodman wondered how she would pay her mortgage down the road. Her savings were dwindling.

If she lost her house, where would she go? Not wanting to burden anyone, she considered moving into a friend's garage.

“I had enough love. I just didn't have enough money.”

Adoption seemed the answer. A wealthy family on the East Coast wanted to raise the identical twins.

But Goodman changed her mind. Although she said the twins would have been OK without her, “I wasn't going to make it OK without them. I couldn't be that heartbroken.”

Leslee Goodman, Beth's sister, said her family was angry initially. “We just thought there's no way a single mom could raise four kids.”

They attended family therapy. Counselors told the Goodmans not to worry. People will come out of the woodwork to help. Love always wins.

“Who knew love would win when we needed it?” Leslee Goodman said from her home in Washington.

Support came. One local woman hosted a community diaper drive. A mother of multiples Goodman met during a hospital visit gave her encouragement.

“She was the first person that told me that ‘Beth, you can do this. If you need me I can help you.'”

At 31 weeks — one day after her 39th birthday — Goodman delivered by caesarean three boys and a girl: Barrett, Luke, Cason and Laila. Healthy but small, they spent several weeks in the hospital.

“At the time, even though it was stressful, I knew I had made the right choice,” she said.

Though Goodman no longer had the energy for creative work, she was able to design a few weddings. To help pay her mortgage, she rented out a room to foreign language students.

Friends and strangers came knocking. A woman she didn't know handed her an envelope. In it was $2,000.

Friends stopped by to cook breakfast. They watched the quads so that the tired mom could nap.

“It was one miracle of kindness after the next,” she said. “I've been so looked after by the people who care about us.”

Other than WIC — a federal program that assists mothers with buying baby food — Goodman received no other government aid, she said.

When the quads were 2, Goodman fell in love and moved to Yuma with her boyfriend. The relationship didn't last, but Goodman decided to stay.

She bought a house. She made new friends. She got her real estate license and started a new career.

Today the quads are 6 and in the first grade. Goodman, who remains single, has written a manuscript titled “The Five of Us,” which is currently being edited.

“Every now and then I get caught up in ‘this is so hard.'” But, “I can't feel sorry for myself.”

In her heart, she knows her unusual path to motherhood was meant to be.

“I do think these are the good old days. It's OK that this is not what we planned.”

***

Before Octomom, there was Beth Goodman.

For Goodman, who is now raising quadruplets in Yuma, it all began in 2003 in Santa Barbara, Calif. Goodman, approaching 40 and unwed, decided she'd try one more time to get pregnant. And conceive she did – times four – thanks to in vitro and an anonymous sperm donor.

In Santa Barbara, where Goodman owned a floral design business, a local newspaper ran a front-page story about the unconventional pregnancy. A photo showed Goodman, her baby bump visible, arranging bouquets of flowers from her bed — doctors unexpectedly ordered bed rest at 17 weeks.

Compared to Nadya Suleman, who gave birth to octuplets in 2009 while already a mom of six, Goodman's story isn't as jaw dropping. But at the time, Goodman's decision sparked criticism. Eventually the new mom of three boys and one girl found herself face-to-face with Oprah Winfrey.

“Mostly people were angry with me for being so selfish,” said Goodman, now a Yuma Realtor. She said she also received threatening phone calls.

Although a successful businesswoman who saved thousands to pay for the in vitro procedure, Goodman was not financially prepared to raise quadruplets.

With one baby she could work full time. Four infants made it impossible.

Radio talk show host Dr. Laura Schlessinger reportedly remarked: “How dare you rob children of a father and think you're doing a good thing?”

Conservative Fox News personality Bill O'Reilly also sounded off, telling his audience he'd investigate whether Goodman had health insurance. (Goodman has said, yes, she was insured.)

One reader of the Santa Barbara News Press wrote in: “I mourn that three boys and one girl will never experience the joy of knowing a dad.”

Goodman said her father “disowned” her for a time, though they later reconciled. Her high-risk pregnancy scared her family, she said. They also didn't understand her years-long pursuit to have a baby.

Months after her delivery, Goodman appeared on “Oprah.” She had met the talk-show host before, having decorated her Santa Barbara estate.

Winfrey asked if it was selfish for Goodman to have children that she couldn't afford. Goodman, who decided against giving two of her children up for adoption, was confident she could find a way to support her children.

Today, Goodman is years away from the controversy, working full-time as a Realtor in Yuma. Her children are first-graders. She's single, but hopeful someday the right man will come along.

Her sister, Leslee Goodman, distraught over her sister's situation in the beginning, said Beth's success as a single mom taught her a lesson: We don't always know where our happiness lies.

Beth had quadruplets and “pulled it off,” Leslee said. “I'm in total awe of her. She's my biggest inspiration.”

With everyone questioning her decision at the time, Goodman said she never wanted to sound defensive. She wanted to accept people's opinions.

“It hurt my feelings to be attacked” but “I made a choice a lot of people questioned.”

Goodman said she knows other parents with children, whether they have one or many, struggle in similar ways. When it comes down to it, their lives are not much different than hers.

“We're all connected. We're all here to take care of each other.”

THIS STORY CONTINUES HERE

The story of Beth Goodman and her four special babies continues in Wednesday's edition of the Yuma Sun. Readers will be given a unique peek into a day in the life of the Goodman home.

LOTS MORE ONLINE

Click here for a slideshow of Beth and her kids now

Click here for a slideshow of the quads' early years