Families are like giant redwood trees

  I read an article, years ago, by Patricia Pinegar. In the article she talks about a time when she and her husband were living in England and there was an unexpected storm.

  All night the winds raged. When morning came and her family ventured from their home, the damage was devastating. Many trees throughout England had been uprooted. She said it was amazing to see the gigantic root systems, still intact, jutting into the air. Because rain is plentiful in England, these trees did not have to sink their roots deep into the earth to get the nourishment they needed.

  Giant redwood trees also have a very shallow root system. A mature redwood has a root system that is only 4-6 feet deep. But when they are surrounded by other redwood trees, the strongest, fiercest wind cannot blow them over.

  Why? The roots of the giant redwood trees intertwine and strengthen each other. When the storm comes, they actually hold each other up. The same should be true of our families - we should strive to intertwine our hands and our hearts to hold each other up and strengthen one another.

  I would like to suggest 10 ways in which families can intertwine their lives so that the strongest of winds will not uproot them.

  - Family date night: Once a week, go on a family date. Go to a movie, go rollerblading, have a picnic or play kickball in the park. Spend quality time together laughing and playing.

  - Serve each other: Each day do something nice for a family member without being asked. This can be as simple as a note on the dresser or taking out the garbage.

  - Say thank you: Each day, before bed, have every family member tell someone thank you for what they have done for them that day.

  - Celebrate accomplishments: Share in the joys of accomplishments such as a good report card, a home run, a basket made in a game or a new piano piece memorized. Make a cake, buy an ice cream cone or favorite candy bar - anything that says, "You are the best!"

  - Have a slumber party: Drag out the mattresses, the blankets and the pillows. Everyone sleep in the living room and watch movies and eat popcorn. I promise this will be a treasured memory.

  - Learn together: Learn something that will be of value to your family members. Learn some basic photography, learn how to cook a new food, learn how to repair a tire, learn how to paint a fence - the opportunities are endless. Do it as a family.

  - Support each other: Be present at one another's activities. The family should go to the piano recitals, the games, the science fairs or anything else. Go out for ice cream after!

  - Give service to others: Find a neighbor that needs help baby-sitting and offer to help, as a family. Help the lady down the street with her weeds, decorate pumpkins and leave them on the neighbor's doorstep, bake a cake and leave it as a surprise for someone.

  - Work together: If there is yard work to be done, do it as a family. If the house needs cleaning, do it as a family. If the car needs washed, do it as a family.

  - Stay connected to extended family: Some of our greatest memories can be of tea parties with grandma, walks with grandpa, playing with cousins and shopping with aunts. Our extended families can benefit our lives and influence our children in positive ways. Write and call often. Make it a priority to attend family reunions and family parties.

  It is so important that parents be stalwart and dependable redwood trees, connecting and intertwining their children's hearts and hands to their own and to each other. Children's young roots are not deep enough for them to stand alone in the storms of life. They need parents who will make the family unit a priority.

  Redwoods are always found in clusters called groves (I like to think of them as families). The strength of the tree is not in itself. For every foot in height a redwood grows up, the tree sends its roots three feet out - intertwining with all the groping roots from the grove (family) which are so woven together, there is no way the tree could fall down. Redwoods are held up by the strength of their families … so are our children!

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Christina Hawkey, a professor of family studies at Arizona Western College, can be reached at christina.hawkey@azwestern.edu.