Program looks at cancer-related holiday stress

  The holidays are stressful enough without cancer.

  The holiday season can mean a cruel increase in anxiety and depression for cancer survivors and their loved ones, say leaders with Sunstone Cancer Support Centers. They say a combination of striving for perfection or wrongly assessing a survivor's needs can lead to a holiday disaster.

  But there are ways to truly keep the season. That's why the Sunstone Cancer Support Center in Yuma is planning the program "Cancer and Holiday Stress."

  "Our mission is to bring hope and inspiration to people touched by cancer," said Patricia Harmon, Sunstone's chief executive officer in Tucson. "We really hope to give people some ideas on how to cope with the stress and, of course, the joy of the holiday season while someone in their family or a friend is surviving cancer."

  Harmon herself will give the presentation Dec. 4. The event will run 5:30 to 7 p.m. at the Yuma Heritage Library, 350 3rd Ave. Registration is $5 per person and reservations are required. Interested people can call Mary Monk, outreach program coordinator, at 783-5595.

  The nonprofit Sunstone Cancer Support Centers offer cancer patients and survivors alternative approaches to health that often focus on the holistic, mind-body-spirit connection. But officials stress that Sunstone's resources - ranging from massage to educational - are meant to complement, not replace, Western medicine. The Yuma center is at 202 S. 1st Ave., Suite 102.

  Harmon says that the No. 1 obstacle for family and friends can be having healthy expectations for how holidays are celebrated with cancer survivors.

  "Some people set expectations that are too high and others prepare for the worst. Family members might say, 'This might be our last holiday together' so they think everything has to be absolutely perfect. When any of us strives for perfection, things can get really, really difficult."

  Such high expectations might manifest as an attempt at the picture-perfect Christmas dinner. Or maybe expectations are set too high about the cancer survivor's ability to keep up with the family's traditionally frantic pace of shopping, cooking, eating and such.

  "We all have this notion of what could be called a Norman Rockwell holiday. Survivors sometimes think they still have to make six kinds of cookies no matter what, instead of looking for 'What are our favorite two kinds?'" Harmon said. "Setting realistic expectations means really asking what's important to us and what we can let go off."

  But low expectations can be just as bad. Harmon said that well-intending loved ones can sometimes underestimate what a cancer survivor wants or is capable of handling.

  The key to avoiding these misunderstandings, she said, is communication.

  "We encourage survivors to be clear about what they would like to have, so the family isn't guessing. Celebrations will work best for survivors and their loved ones if everyone is involved in the discussions."

  Harmon stressed that survivors and their caretakers always "deserve a break," but this is especially true during the holidays. In addition to attending "Cancer and Holiday Stress" on Dec. 4, she suggested visiting Yuma's Sunstone location and treating themselves to a free massage or Reiki session. 

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Darin Fenger can be reached at
dfenger@yumasun.com or 539-6860.