Like many of you, I'm trying to eat healthier foods. The other day I made a baby spinach salad with mangos and pecans.
About halfway through my meal, I started choking on a piece of baby spinach and began turning purple.
“Lawd, Lawd,” I pleaded, “I've been a good person all my life. Please don't let me die, especially not by choking on baby spinach!
“If I'm going to die while eating, please let me be devouring something sinfully delicious like chocolate amaretto cheesecake, a triple-decker Porky cheeseburger or my mom's rolled chicken tacos dipped in red sauce. But please, Lawd, please don't let me suffer the indignity of being done in by baby spinach!”
I guess The Man Upstairs took pity on me because the wayward baby spinach eventually found its way down the correct pipe, and I was able to breathe again.
“Thank you,” I said as I crossed myself.
I'm avoiding baby spinach from now on. That stuff can kill you.