Support for grieving parents
They might not live here year-round, but one pair of winter visitors are helping to make sure people in Yuma County receive help after the death of a child.
Carl and Sally Komor help run the Yuma Chapter of Bereaved Parents of USA.
After the death of their son, Steven, in April 2005, the Komors said they experienced grief and wanted a way to reach out to others.
Both Carl and Sally said that losing a child is one of the hardest deaths to cope with.
"We're all in it together, and we all know what we're going through," Carl Komor said.
Now that the Komors are back in Yuma for the winter, they will host the first group meeting at 7 p.m. ThursdayNov. 19 at the Gloria de Cristo Church, 11273 E. 40th St.
There is no cost to participate in the group, which is open to grandparents also.
The Komors said it's important to connect with people after the death of a child or grandchild. And everyone's story is different.
Also at the meeting, they'll have an educational component and a topic of grief, such as guilt or getting through the holidays, the Komors said.
One way to help honor the memory of a child, the Komors said, is to set a place for them at the table, maybe during the holidays or special occasions.
An important thing to remember is rituals can be important, Sally Komor said.
Bereaved parents also need the understanding of their community of friends, they said. Many parents report that they lose contact with friends and even family members because people don't know how to respond to the grieving person.
Carl Komor said it would be helpful if caring persons:
• Aren't afraid to make the first contact after the funeral ceremonies are over.
• Realize that nothing they can say will take away the pain, only time will cure.
• Be present, be helpful and hug a lot.
• Aren't afraid to cry with the family. Tears are a healthy release for everyone.
• Use the child's name; it keeps their memory alive.
• Give loving support to surviving children; they are often forgotten.
• Remember that there is no standard timetable for recovery. Grief over a child will be much more intense and long-lasting than over any other loss. The lives of the family will never be the same.
The group will also participate in observing National Children's Memorial Day at 7 p.m. Dec. 13 at the Gloria de Cristo Church. In an act of symbolic remembrance, the members will hold a candlelight vigil, "creating a 24-hour wave of light around the globe."
For more information about the group, call Carl and Sally Komor at 344-5529. The couple also said they are available to talk on the phone if someone is not completely comfortable yet with attending the group in person. They can also help members make travel arrangements so that they are able to participate.
