Learning the links one 7-iron swing at a time

Whoosh!

That sound was the only result I could manage from my first couple of swings at Las Barrancas Golf Course Friday morning. Turns out actually connecting with the ball is a lot harder than it looks.

Why I waited almost 25 years before ever attempting to drive a golf ball is beyond me, but something pushed me toward giving the non putt-putt form of golf a shot.

For the longest time I had always thought of golf as an old man’s sport. It was just something people did to get outside and trick themselves into the idea that they were exercising. The saying that I learned on the green was “golf is the best way to ruin a good walk.” Try telling that to the folks storming through the course in their ridiculously unbalanced golf carts.

Maybe I was looking for a new challenge. Perhaps I was hunting for the most frustrating way to spend a few hours before work. Either way, I’m glad I took the chance to hit the links as learning golf from scratch was not only challenging, but entertaining as well.

Here are some things I took away from my first time hitting balls on the driving range and learning the basics of putting ... other than a mighty sunburn.

This game has an absurdly high learning curve. I have friends who have played for years and still call their level of play horrible without hesitation. My co-worker and instructor for the day who has played for quite a few years said he is “inconsistent at best.” And after struggling with my grip and stance for a majority of the day, I can see why even avid golfers are still awful at the game.

Just learning the basics of the 7-iron swing seemed impossible to keep track of. Keep your fingers and palms correctly gripped on the club, maintain a straight back posture, stand with your legs shoulder width apart and keep your balance on the balls of your feet, make sure your left arm stays straight, bend your right arm and keep the elbow in, swing with your shoulders and generate torque and power with your hips, keep your head down and follow through with your swing. That’s just the stuff I can remember.

Make sure you have proper gloves or be prepared to deal with massive blisters on your fingers and thumbs. The constant rubbing and friction during each swing will leave giant packs of puss on your opposable appendages that will make the second half of your experience painful. They’ll eventually need to be emptied via needle or bulletin board push pin if you take care of the problem at the office like I did.

The game appears to be solvable. If you tune your fundamentals and can evaluate the lay of the land on holes, golf seems to be a sport that can be mastered. Unlike team sports where an opposing player can alter the outcome of your performance and unlike a game of poker where luck or chance can greatly affect your results, in golf, the only variables are weather (which can be adjusted too) and yourself. Sure you play against other people, but if you limit your mistakes, there aren’t many roadblocks to stop you from winning. Just play better than your opponents.

Golf is fun. I definitely expected to get bored at some point after dozing off so many times to it on TV, but to my surprise there was never a moment when I wanted to stop. I would have played longer if I didn’t have to go to work. There is just so much to learn – I haven’t even swung a club other than a 7-iron or putter – and just after a few hours of “playing” I have more respect for the professionals. I mean, the idea of shooting par on a hole seems way down the line, I don’t even want to imagine shooting a respectable score on an entire front or back nine.

What’s the future hold for my golfing career? I don’t know, but maybe next time I play I’ll learn a few new clubs and why I need to use them. As for now, it’s time to treat my wounds with some Neosporin and remind myself to wear sunscreen next time I get on the course.