ON DECK: Desperate Cashman

There's nothing that would make me happier than hearing “Now batting for the Yankees, clean-up hitter Derek Lee.”

Seriously, is anyone worse at his job than Brian Cashman? He gets $200 million every year and has assembled a team that has won one of the last 12 World Series.

And now he's resorting to recreating the 2003 All-Star team by inquiring about Lee, Chipper Jones and Scott Rolen. That is, when he's not signing never-will-bes like Ben Francisco hours after he was cut by the Indians.

I know injuries can stink sometimes, but most teams don't suffer injuries then re-sign players that ruled supreme in video games for the Sega DreamCast. Most teams have functioning minor league teams wherein suitable replacements can be found.

But who needs minor leaguers when you have a dump truck full of a money and a Rolodex full of stars a decade past their prime?